Turtle Butter.

The interwebs love nut butter.

I love nut butter.

Especially when it’s already on my table with a spoon waiting in the wings.

I love almond butter, I love peanut butter, I love cashew butter, I LOVE hazelnut butter. Let’s not even talk about coconut butter.

That jar took a piece of my heart with it when it left.

No I didn’t just buy it again. It costs it’s weight in gold. Not even a piece of my heart was worth that dough.

Enough about coconut butter. I have pecans not coconuts.

Yes for some reason my family has a torso-sized bag of pecans sitting in our pantry.  You know what else we have?


Bernard Callebaut chocolate, moulded into the shapes of whales and apples. Long story.  Involved an overzealous melting of chocolate at easter and a frantic search for a way to salvage the remnants. Ingenuity on my part.

Right, chocolate and pecans.

Yes I said Turtle Butter, stop looking for the caramel.  I didn’t put any in it.  You try to put caramel in your food processor OK. I also wanted to feel justified in my eating of this butter on toast in the morning. It still tastes like turtles 🙂

My brother thought so.

He ate a spoonful of it.  He didn’t really want it on his toast. Spoons work just fine.

The “recipe” is painfully straightforward.

Turtle Butter

1 cup pecan halves

1 whale or miniature apple of chocolate (I’m going to approximate .75 of an oz.)

Put pecans in food processor and process until smooth and nut buttery.  If you have an extra lame processor like me, you may have to scrape the sides occasionally in order to process the nut butter evenly. Once it has reached desired consistency, enter chocolate whale.  The whale will swim around the processor until it melts and dies. Once the whale has passed away, you have Turtle Butter.  Refrigerate!

Will only last short period of time in fridge if you live with a Brittany.

She likes to put it on everything.  Especially Breakfast Bakes (a la edibleperspective). 

These happen, like, every morning, I’ll show you how later.

In other news, know of any good food processors? I may or may not have broken my step dad’s mini processor. 

The blade is not actually supposed to look like this. (plastic is ground to pulp in centre)                                                                                                                                                     

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