not so extreme makeover: new home edition

This is one of those times when you get to creep.

You get to pretend you’re living in my house, with my family, and my M.  You get to pretend you’re friends with my awesome friends.  You even get to pretend to eat the sometimes awesome food and sometimes oatmeal-for-dinner type food that I eat.

Today you’re lucky.  You get to pretend to rip up carpets.  You get to wrap up musty underlay and surround yourself in decades worth of strange stains.  Stains that weren’t yours. Stains that make you want to think about puppies.

and flowers.

and small children with smiling faces.

heck you’d even settle for small children making this face..

just to prevent your mind from dwelling on whatever it was that lead to these mystery stains.

Hey now.  Let’s look at the bright side.

You do get to pretend that your family just bought a big new house.  🙂 Yeah, that’s right, four houses down from our current house.

We take big steps here at the Smith-Frostad house.

Trust me, you should be excited.

Why should you be excited?

Before and After photos.  You see.. our new home is lovely.  The layout is super. The location is prime.  The size is perfect. The paint is distasteful. Some is bright blue.  Some is lavender.  Some is orange. Some has leaves stenciled onto it.  With stick on bird decals. Some is actually dark floral wallpaper. Terror. The carpets are mismatched.  The carpets are pink. The carpets smell.  The carpets are carpet. Carpet is gross.  Who does carpet. Come on.  I certainly won’t ever after getting so up close and personal with these beauties. My shoulders curl inward in disgust, just reflecting on my intimate moments with the carpets.  Also, the carpets are pink.  Did I mention that? I just need to make sure you understand the severity.

Everybody likes to see nasty turn in to nice.

Everybody.  I don’t care if you’re a boy.  If I gave you a before picture of someone I knew who made a revolutionary life change, healthified, and lost 200lbs… and held the after photo behind my back, you would pry it out of my large manly hands.  You would.

I’m going to equate revolutionary life changes to carpets and walls.  Roll with it for my sake.

Here is our new house. (Make note, the photos do not address the ugly nearly as well as personal interaction does)

Here is the upstairs bathroom with the plastic “marbled” countertops and floral curtains.

And the toilet from hell.

This is going to be my bedroom.

Ew. Someone with cataracts chose those colours.

Here is the kitchen.  You can’t tell, but that fire engine red? Too fire engine-y.

And on to the room that was attacked by pink carpet. Do you like the fake second countertop? It’s M height. He doesn’t need his own countertop.

You wanted to get a close look of the dining room wallpaper? Here ya go. I couldn’t help but start savagely tearing at it as soon as I saw it, without the proper tools.

Oh and I mentioned leafy decals. Yeah, no lie.

Mom looves the leafy decals. And the lavender.

Stay tuned as things get ripped up and start gaining some aesthetic appeal. 🙂

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7 Comments

Filed under Family, Mundane Shenanigans

7 responses to “not so extreme makeover: new home edition

  1. Wow. That pink carpet is truly horrendous!

  2. Oh man reminds me of my house before our reno. Half of the house was baby blue, the other half was pink, that pink. I feel your pain. I feel it. -N

  3. Janelle

    Hello.

    I made your blog!!!! Not really the most flattering picture of me, but at least it shows off my nice choice of tights. (I might add that it may be a little more flattering than the last one with your mom…haha)

    You guys bought a new house?!?!? Thats big news — thanks for updating me with your life! I’m coming home for a bit in August, see you then!

    J

  4. Pingback: Living alone… with middle-aged painters | b out there

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