Yeah, these kind of distracted me last night when I was supposed to be writing about my wisdom. I’ll tell you all about these soon.
1. I read a blog post about proper man shaving. I liked it. I’m not even a proper man. I feel like shaving in this way makes a man 52.5X more appealing. Ryan Gosling must shave with a straight razor.
2. Sometimes for every 4 christmas gifts you buy, you accidentally wind up with a sweater for you. Don’t feel bad, it’s getting chilly. Just don’t do it again.
3. I don’t care if the snow melted, it’s still time to start watching Love Actually every week.
4. The snow melted. Rollerblade-ability aside, snowless Decembers suck butt.
5. If you’re looking for satisfaction, come to my house. I will then instruct you how to spread a stick of butter across a soft yeasted dough and thus laminate it, eventually resulting in soft flaky crescent rolls. What else did you think would happen at my house. That’s how I show people a good time.
6. Real Life: waxing your legs means your roommates aren’t allowed to look at funny when you pet your lower thighs. allthetime. Oh and leg waxing+harry potter watching+brownies = obviously done all of my final 4th year assignments at Carleton University Ever.
7. If you want your guests to stay for dessert, don’t serve them pumpkin mac n cheese and flaky buttery crescent rolls. They will be forced to roll home early to watch the Kardashians or lose consciousness, though the activities are synonymous. Those guests that do stay will require you to loan them stretchy-pants.
8. Running down rocky a hill covered with leaves will be henceforth be referred to as “ankle roulette”. Stressful, fall-y, and hurty.
9. If your arms are sore, figure out why before you go blubbering about it in public. People will ask you why. You will be forced to tell them that it’s … Because… you… took a really big trip to the bulk barn. Kinda uncool.
9. Don’t let your mom talk to other people’s moms. She will say things like, “Did you know that my daughter loves your son?”. Context mom, these things need context.
10. T-minus 25 days to Christmas
11. T-minus 52 days to Paris. Boo-yah. Oh. Speaking of Boo-yah. Thank you Megan for throwing this into my life.